Salesman of the Year
A young guy from Texas moves to California and goes to a 
big department store looking for a job. The manager
says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says,
"Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas. "Well, the
boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. "You start 
tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you
did." His first day on the job was rough but he got
through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came
down. "How many sales did you make today?" The kid
says, "One." The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people
average 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale for?"
Kid says, "£101,237.64." Boss says, "£101,237.64? What
the hell did you sell?" Kid says, "First I sold him a
small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook.
Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new
fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing
and he said down at the coast, so I told him he was going to
need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I
sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he
didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him
down to the automotive department and sold him that 4X4
Blazer." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a
fish hook and you sold him a boat and truck?" Kid says,
"No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife
and I said, 'Well, your weekend's shot, you might as well

go fishing.'"

 
 
SISTERS OF MERCY
 
A salesman was travelling down a western highway, when he saw a billboard saying “SISTERS OF MERCY BROTHEL 10 MILES AHEAD”. He did a double take as he went by but soon determined that he must have been mistaken. 
Soon he came upon another sign “SISTERS OF MERCY BROTHEL 5 MILES AHEAD” Then, sure enough, five miles down the road he saw another sign, “SISTERS OF MERCY BROTHEL” with an arrow indicating a driveway. He could not believe what he was seeing, but turned into the driveway 
Of the convent. Going to the front door, he rang the bell and was greeted by a nun in her habit. Stumbling over his own speech, he told of the signs he had seen. 
The nun immediately asked him to follow her, and took him down a long hallway with many doors. At the end of the hallway was another nun at a desk. When he explained 
again why he was there, the nun said “that will be £50.00 please” and led him down a second hallway. At the end of that hallway was another door. The nun directed him to open the door and go on through. Upon doing so he found himself back out in the parking lot, 
facing a sign that said “YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF MERCY!”
 
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